I started mentally arguing with myself about the merits of this last long run about 3 miles in. With 17 more to go. This was not good. I was out in the Cathance. The woods were beautiful. The river was flowing. There were fallen leaves on the mossy rocks. I recognized that I was lucky to be out there. Sam was being well cared for by my parents, and I had the whole morning to myself to run. But I didn't really want to. Or maybe I didn't really want to all by myself? Regardless, after I had finished the Ravine Loop and was 5 miles in, I stopped, pulled out my phone and called Ryan. I asked him if he would do me a favor and meet up with me in another 5 miles for a 5 mile loop. I figured if I got in 10 on my own, and had the boost of running with Ryan through mile 15, that I could drag myself out for the final 5 and hopefully get the run done without too much damage or drama. Well, I was wrong on that count.
Ryan was a good husband and agreed to run with me no questions asked, but he didn't really want to. His foot was hurting and his legs were tight. He wasn't planning to run. I hadn't realized that he was so against running today, and when he told me that as we ran down our road, I sort of lost it. I didn't want to run with a grumpy mc-grumperstein! I was hoping for a little relief for these 5 miles. Instead, I felt stressed. Finally, after a few miles and another small breakdown, we sorted ourselves out. Ryan said I didn't really need him anyway, I was running well. And in fact, I did feel OK. I was moving along and had gotten through my crazy wacky emotional stressed out bad patch. I dropped Ryan and my Nathan pack off at the house and headed out for the final 5. Ryan suggested just running the Highland Green loop at as quick a pace as I could. That didn't sound like a bad idea, so that is what I did. I probably could have used some water and fuel along the way, and certainly didn't hammer the loop out like he suggested, but I just kept on chugging until the Garmin beeped 20. Done.
It was definitely a bit of a struggle to get through this one, but I got it done, and I know that having this last 20 miler under my belt will help me during Stonecat. Ryan thinks I should take a break after Stonecat and not do any events for a while, that training is stressful for me and that I'm better off just running what feels right. I agree with him in a way, but I don't want to give up on competition for good! I like having a goal to work towards and seeing what I can do in a race. I realize that sometimes my running makes me crazy, but in other ways it keeps me more sane. So who knows? In any event, there will be more time to ponder all this once Stonecat is done. For now, it is on to the taper!
And in an attempt to bring a bit more cheer to this post, here are a few more photos from Sam's birthday yesterday! She had so much fun!!
Playing with her cash register with Morgan
Happy Birthday to you!
Afternoon coloring session
A goodbye hug from her best friend Annie. So cute!