Off Course

This week has been a bit of a failure running-wise. Sunday was spent hanging out with our friends while camping, and I had no regrets about not lacing up my running shoes for a run. I had originally planned to run 10 miles around Wolfe's Neck on Monday morning, but interrupted sleep on Sunday night, a cold morning and time spent down on the beach with Sam meant that didn't happen. I got in 5 rather uninspired miles that afternoon when we got home. Tuesday I planned to get up and run. That didn't happen either. I was simply exhausted. But, not running plus a few other things put me in a rather cranky mood. So yesterday morning, I got up at the crack of dawn, and headed out into the murky darkness at 5:30 am with my headlamp on, its beam hitting the mist as I ran out onto the powerlines. I got in 8 miles along the cart paths and on Highland Green Road but it was a struggle. I didn't feel good, I was still tired and even worse, I came home feeling even more cranky because I hadn't had a good run! *Sigh*

Last night I went to bed early with the plan of getting up early once again this morning for a 7 mile run. I don't even remember hearing the alarm, and only woke up at 6:00 am because Ronnie was licking my face, hoping to get me out of bed so I'm get him his breakfast. 8 solid hours of sleep is practically unheard of for me these days. I guess I needed it! I might not have gotten in my run, but somehow I think the sleep was more important today. I had planned to take this week as a step-back week anyway, mostly because of the Bruiser coming up on Sunday, and while it appears it's going to be more of a step-back week than I had planned, I'm trying to not be too hard on myself and just accept that I needed a bit of rest this week.

I try to follow the training plan I've written in my planner, I really do, but it seems to be inevitable that I go off course somewhere, sometimes multiple times, along the way. I consider myself a fairly focused and driven person. I want to do well in the 50. I love lists and crossing things off them :-) You would think sticking to a training plan would be right up my alley. But for some reason, I have never been good at sticking to one. I can't quite put my finger on why. Part of me thinks it's because the reason I love to run is just the running. When I start to feel pressure to run specific miles on specific days, it gets to be too much. Part of me thinks it's just the reality of my life at the moment. Life gets in the way of my training much more than I'd like. Running is important, yes, but it simply can't trump Sam or Ryan or the daily realities of what needs to be done all the time. Sometimes something has to give. Sometimes it's the vacuuming. Or sleep. But sometimes it's the running. Part of me thinks I'm just not a high-mileage runner and maybe never will be. Two 50+-mile weeks is a row might be my limit right now before I need a break. I want to be able to run through a bit of exhaustion and persevere, yes, but I also want to listen to my body and make sure I actually get to the starting line in November. Perhaps I simply can't sustain the high mileage like others. Maybe I just don't want to. Whatever the case, I'm a bit off-course at the moment. But, despite that, I'm still trudging forward...and hoping to feel that light-on-my-feet feeling that I love about a good run again soon.