Dark and Stormy

There's this little voice inside my head that breaks through every once in a while. It breaks through the "I'm strong," "I'm observant," "I live in a safe place" layer of thoughts that allow me to run alone on the trails and roads. I honestly don't feel threatened or nervous when I'm out running by myself all that often. I feel safe and comfortable in the woods. I've never had a problem, and I know that most people out in the world are good people. But that doesn't mean I don't get freaked out sometimes. I don't know if all runners have this slightly paranoid voice inside their head, if it's just women runners, or if it's just me. The voice seems to come out most when I'm out running in the dark at night (which is a rarity, it's true) or if I'm running through an area out on the trails with easy access, like the quarry or the dump pond area, especially if I'm running through in the mid-afternoon, say a Friday in the summer. It never rears its head when I'm out in the morning running as the sun comes up. I just don't think people looking for trouble are out and about at 6:30 am. In any event, I know this little voice is just there to keep me safe, to keep me aware. But I still don't like it. I wish I didn't even have to think about anything unsafe happening.

I'm still trying to get rid of the last vestiges of the cold I've had since New Years. It's gone except for this annoying post-nasal drip that is making me cough. Ugh. Last night I felt exhausted, and this morning I didn't manage to get up with the alarm. But I was kicking myself about it later, so I decided I would go out tonight for a few miles. It was rainy and 40 degrees when I headed out the door at 8:00 pm after Sam fell asleep. My plan was to run the Patriot Commons loop. Except there was this creepy guy walking along the sidewalk. And then a big pick-up truck zoomed by me on the high school road. It was too much. That little voice broke through, and I didn't feel right continuing on the loop. I turned around. And instead I did loops through the neighborhood. Actually, it wasn't all that bad. It was misty and wet and sloppy out, but it was warm. And I was only out for 29 minutes, which is pretty much nothing in the scheme of things.

So, short, mellow run done, and the cat vomit got cleaned off my F-lites too :-) Win win. (Yes, came home this afternoon to find that one of the cats had spit up a hairball off the edge of their perch by the window. The vomit cascaded off the mat and right into and on four of my running shoes. So gross!)