Pre-Race Ramblings

Like I said, it's been an odd week here between taper and the storm and school closed for 4 days so far and Halloween rescheduled... but what can we do but just roll with the punches and keep on smiling, oh, and dress up for Halloween and light up the Jack o'lantern anyway! ;)

My parents came up Tuesday intending to join us for the Halloween parade and festivities, and although the parade moved to Friday, we decided to stick with our plan to meet up with Anne and family for dinner as is tradition on Halloween. Except Sea Dog was without power, so where to go? Japanese it was, and we were all happy!

Wednesday, my parents went over to NH to visit with friends, Sam went to Amber's for the day and Ryan and I went into work, and later in the afternoon I took Sam up to swim practice. With 4 days off for Pinhoti, I needed the time in the office to get things done, oh, and having a bit of a regular day was nice too! Per the taper plan, there was no running, although I did contemplate it... but I was a good girl and resisted as I know the rest is a good thing.

This morning, I dropped Sam off at Amber's for yet another day of no school care, dropped the car off to get serviced and headed out for one last run before Pinhoti.

It was overcast and rather dreary out, as November is prone to be, but I saw a beaver in the Heath and enjoyed the quiet woods. Only one big tree down along the loop; the rest was mostly little stuff. The run was rather uneventful, and now, poof, final run of the training cycle for Pinhoti is done! (4.4 miles)

I will admit to feeling a bit stressed this week with so much going on, and I am sad that we will be missing the Halloween parade and to know that Sam is sad we won't be there. I am also nervous. I know that is normal. 100 miles is a long way no matter what Karl Meltzer says (who by the way is running Pinhoti! 😆), and travel adds a whole other layer to things. But, all that said, I am super excited for this weekend's adventure and to put my training, resolve, tenacity and grit to work out on the trail, to make new friends, to run with John and Ryan, to see a whole new state, to have this experience. I am one lucky lady!

In attempt to steady and ground myself this week, I've read, reread and rewatched several things that resonate:

1. I cry every time I watch this.

Before Your Next 100 Mile Race

2. "It’s ok to cry, freak out, and be the vulnerable insecure mess that being human entails. What matters is how we respond in those moments. We can be vulnerable and strong at the same time. Grit exists not despite that vulnerability, but because of it." -https://ultrarunning.com/featured/grit/

3. Marked specifically for rereading in Long Distance by Bill McKibben: "At every endurance event, there comes a time when you'll say, 'what the fuck am I doing here?' And you'll say 'this is what I do.'"

 4. "Q - If you quit now you can get a good night's rest and spend tomorrow relaxing with your family.
A - Yeah, I'm really going to enjoy sitting on the sofa and hearing my little girl ask "Daddy, where's your buckle?"" -http://www.runningandstuff.com/blog/2015/6/9/one-piece-of-advice-before-you-run-100-miles

And so, there you go, if you cobble together all of the above, that is the why. Because in a nutshell, it's the pain, the suffering, the frailty that makes it all the more powerful, it's the grit and determination, the time, the effort, that makes it mean so much, that makes it so powerful, so joyful (if not right in that moment, at least in the after 😉). I don't know exactly what's going to happen out there on Saturday, but I do know that I will most certainly be giving it my all so that I can run that final lap on the track, cross that finish line and get that buckle!